The Disney formula of mixing a beloved classic with moonbattery to create an unwatchable remake does not make money. Yet the French decided to give it a try, wokifying The Three Muskateers into Toutes Pour Une. The result is as you might expect:
The heroine is no longer d’Artagnan, but Sara, a young girl who is shocked to discover that the three musketeers charged with looking after the Queen of France are in fact… women.
The Three Musketeers are no longer Frenchmen. They aren’t even Frenchwomen:
What are a wild Moroccan (Oulaya Amamra), a daughter of Algerians (Sabrina Ouazani), and a pudgy Congolese immigrant doing in the France of the good King Louis XIII?
Satisfying DEI quotas, what else?
French people don’t have to watch this crap, but they do have to pay for it with their taxes:
Toutes pour une received, the Destination Ciné X account explains, €2.6 million from France TV, €850,000 from the Centre National de la Cinématographie, €550,000 from the Île-de-France, Occitanie, and Provence regions, and €500,000 from European funds via Eurimages, for a total budget of €10 million.
Audience response:
With just 1271 admissions for 564 screenings, the film maintained a very respectable average of 2 spectators per screening.
Anyone who sat through it was probably a movie critic. But the important thing is to strike a blow against the patriarchy, not to entertain the unwoke masses.