Ben & Jerry’s, makers of overpriced stale ice cream that, no matter the flavor, always smells a little like cleaning fluid, keeps bouncing from one dumb controversy to another. First, under the influence of its pro-Hezbollah equity person decided to boycott Israel, leading to counter-boycotts and an eventual surrender, then it got caught using child labor, and now it decided to use July 4th to demand the dismantling of America.
“This 4th of July, it’s high time we recognize that the US exists on stolen Indigenous land and commit to returning it,” the ice cream brand tweeted on the national holiday.
The company went further on its website, saying traditional Independence Day celebrations can “distract” from “an essential truth.”
“Ah, the Fourth of July. Who doesn’t love a good parade, some tasty barbecue, and a stirring fireworks display,” the Vermont-based company said. “The only problem with all that, though, is that it can distract from an essential truth about this nation’s birth: The US was founded on stolen Indigenous land.”
Ben & Jerry’s, which is in Vermont, then demanded that America turn over Mount Rushmore and the Black Hills to the Indians, where the company conveniently has no facilities.
But if we’re turning over land to the Indians, why not start with the land that the child labor social justice ice cream place is located on?
An Indigenous tribe descended from the Native American nation that originally controlled the land in Vermont the Ben & Jerry’s headquarters is located on would be interested in taking it back, its chief has said, after the company publicly called for “stolen” lands to be returned.
Don Stevens, chief of the Nulhegan Band of The Coosuk Abenaki Nation—one of four descended from the Abenaki that are recognized in Vermont—told Newsweek it was “always interested in reclaiming the stewardship of our lands,” but that the company had yet to approach them.
Maps show that the Abenaki—a confederacy of several tribes who united against encroachment from a rival tribal confederacy—controlled an area that stretched from the northern border of Massachusetts in the south to New Brunswick, Canada, in the north, and from the St. Lawrence River in the west to the East Coast.
This would put Ben & Jerry’s headquarters, located in a business park in southern Burlington, within the western portion of this historic territory—though it does not sit in any modern-day tribal lands.
“We are always interested in reclaiming the stewardship of our lands throughout our traditional territories and providing opportunities to uplift our communities,” Stevens said when asked about whether the Nulhegan Abenaki Tribe would want to see the property handed over to Indigenous people.
While the chief said that the tribe “has not been approached in regards to any land back opportunities from Ben & Jerry’s,” he added: “If and when we are approached, many conversations and discussions will need to take place to determine the best path forward for all involved.”
And then there are the homes of Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield. Jerry appears to have an 11-acre property in Williston, VT, as well as a property in Florida’s Pompano Beach. Ben appears to have a good deal more properties. It’s time to return this “stolen land” to the Indians.
Also set all the child laborers free too.
How about all of the Indians migrate back to Siberia where their ancestors migrated from across the Bering Strait Land bridge many moons ago.